keep my soul and hold it close
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: You feel it around you, a presence that keeps you and protects you from the loneliness. Soulmate!au


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 _Written for Charlie, for GGE18. I… tried? I hope you enjoy it hun :D_

 **Word Count - 1475**

 _Beta'd by Amber_

* * *

 **keep my soul and hold it close**

* * *

You feel it hovering around you, like a protective bubble that nobody, not even you, can see. It's a strange feeling, to have such a strong presence wrapped around you, to feel emotions that don't belong to you, almost caressing your skin.

You like it though. You don't feel so lonely anymore. No matter that most people in the castle ignore you, or tease you, you know that you have a… friend. Even if you can't talk to them, you know they're there.

It makes all the difference.

…

 _It feels like floating, except you don't have a form, not even an incorporeal one. You're not a ghost, but you're still there. Only around her though._

 _She's holding you to the earth, grounding your soul because it connects to hers and she refuses to let go. You don't think she even knows you're there, but she clings to you anyway._

 _You don't mind. Her soul welcomes your own; it's like coming home._

…

You're in the Department of Mysteries, and there's a spell coming towards you and you don't have time to get your wand up.

But the spell is deflected.

You feel a surge of warmth around you, and you know, you _know_ that it was the presence that had saved you.

"Thank you," you whisper.

…

 _You feel bruised, and how does that work when you're not solid? It doesn't matter how you feel though, because she's safe and that's what's important._

 _You're mad at her for joining the stupid expedition to the Ministry, she could have gotten herself_ killed, _but even though she's fighting against the people you've long called your brothers, you're proud of her too._

 _She's doing what she believes in._

 _No matter your loyalties in this world, you'll protect her against all of them because she's the only thing that matters._

…

The presence has grown over the years. You're sitting in a tiny dark cell, and there's a subtle glow around you. You know it's your presence, because you can feel it wrapped around you like a hug.

It's keeping you warm, and you imagine strong arms around your waist and a solid chest supporting your back. You imagine soft lips pressing against the skin on your neck and you revel in it, because it's what you crave.

You've never told anyone about the presence because you know they'd only laugh and jeer at you. It's what people do whenever you mention something they don't consider normal.

Regardless of that, you know your presence is real, and you know it loves you. You can feel it, a constant thrum of love and affection around you.

It's the only thing that keeps you sane in the darkness.

…

 _You're going to blaze them all to the ground._

 _How dare they snatch her; how_ dare _they keep her in a cage like an animal?_

 _You want to rage and scream and fight and hurt but you can't. You can't affect anyone else, only her, and you don't want her to feel your anger and rage._

 _You channel your emotions into love and hope and devotion and you surround her in them because she needs positivity to get through this._

 _And she will get through it. You'll make sure of it._

 _But one day… one day you'll find a way to get back at every single person that has hurt your girl and you'll pay back that pain a hundred times over._

…

It's over.

The war, the battles, the fighting. It's all over, and you made it through. You're a little surprised by that.

You're tired, and you want a bath and a bed, but you can't relax. You can't feel your presence and it's worrying you because it's always there. You haven't been without it for years and now you feel restless and uncomfortable.

You feel empty.

…

 _You're fighting to get back to her, but you're so tired. Keeping her alive is harder, much harder, than you could have expected. She wants so hard to help, to protect, and she's so good that she'll throw herself in front of spells with little thought for her own welfare._

 _One day, you'll find a way to tell her off for that. One day, you'll find a way to teach her some self preservation._

 _You're weak now, the battle took its toll on you. You don't know how to reassure her that you're still here._

 _You watch her panic and your heart hurts when she eventually curls up on a bed and cries._

…

It comes back.

You've never been so glad as you were when you felt a flicker of love brushing along your skin. It's not a lot, and it's gone as soon as it arrives, but you felt it and the relief was overwhelming.

You don't know what happened, why it went away, why it felt weak for over a month after the battle, coming back in increments.

All you know is that you're grateful for it's return. You don't feel complete without it anymore.

You've wondered a few times if there's something wrong with you. If there's something about the presence that you should be worried about. If you should tell somebody about it.

One touch from your presence and you know that you don't need to worry. Nothing sinister could feel so much love.

…

 _You feel yourself gaining strength. You can whisper to her now. It saps your strength, but you can do it more and more._

 _The smile she gives every time she hears you pushes you to get stronger. She should always wear that smile, in your opinion._

 _She's so beautiful._

 _You wonder if you could push her into action. If you could make her go to St Mungo's. You know your body is being kept there, kept alive despite it being empty. You dream of being able to hold her for real. Of feeling her body pressed against your own, solid and real and_ there.

 _You crave it so badly it's a constant ache. You just don't know how to achieve it._

…

It's ridiculously easy to sneak into the long stay ward of St Mungo's. You expected it to be more difficult, but then, you don't think anybody really cares about the people here.

These people are forgotten.

Your presence belongs to one of the bodies here, and you walk down the ward slowly, waiting for it to separate from you.

It took a long time for you to get to this point. A lot of barely there whispers from your presence to convince you that this was something you should do.

There's still a part of you that resents it. You want to keep your presence _with_ you. But you know that you're being selfish so you walk past bed after bed of those without souls and you wait.

…

 _You blink your eyes open and it's odd. You haven't had eyes to blink open for a long time. You haven't had fingers to twitch, or legs to stretch either. You look around you, slowly getting used to the sensation of being_ solid _again._

 _She's there, watching you from the other side of the room. Your beautiful Luna._

" _Hi," you whisper, and your voice is throaty and rough but it's yours and you think you might cry with the relief of it._

…

He's beautiful. You've been imagining what your presence looked like for years, but to see him now, whole and solid and _real_ is overwhelming.

Abstractly, you know now who this man is. You know, vaguely, what he's done, but you can't find it in yourself to care.

Instead you focus on the years of comfort and protection. The nights where he surrounded you with his love for you to make you feel less lonely. The affection he encased you in to keep you alive in the darkness of a cell.

"Hi," you reply when he murmurs a greeting.

You cross the hospital floor until you're beside his bed, and he pulls you close immediately, wrapping you up in warmth. It's familiar and unfamiliar, and you love it immediately. It your presence but it's so much more because it's _real._

"I love you, Luna," he whispers into your blonde hair. "You saved me."

…

 _She fits perfectly in your arms, like a missing piece of a puzzle that you'd never realised was incomplete._

 _You can't help but tell her you love her, because you've wanted to say those words to her for years. You need to let her know that you're only here because of her, because her soul saved yours and grounded it until it could find its way home._

 _She pulls away far enough to look at you, and her smile is blinding in its beauty._

" _I love you too, Barty. I think I always have."_


End file.
